Hello, hi?
well, it's been.... a quiet years, is it not? LOL
I've been wanting to write this since the past few days, thouht that I would write it on my birthday, but then I am glad that I didn't do it that day since I might cry and be sad all day! It's a big no.
I am writing this after a good painful cry because I read some older post from this blog, dang, I used to be so alive years before, haven't seen that girl again for years haha.
Anyway, here goes the letter.
" Hi, should I that you for still alive?
Maybe I should. Thank you, for still being here, even though you still can't avoid the void that still thriving inside your heart. There are still good days, calm days, and of course your worst days when the pain in your heart is so unbearable. I appreciate your courage to still breating and standing here.
You are now a 老师, yes, suprisingly, just a private teacher tho, a few students, but you are doing just great. You enjoyed meeting the kids online & offline. The simple interaction keeps you going and makes you somehow, alive. Last month is the first time for you to do the offline teaching, it's just amazing. Thank you for still walking, every small steps matters!
You rarely paint or reading novels again, it is okay. Maybe right now it is not the good condition for your mind, because it will drives your mind to think all the worst things possible. You know that the world dont revolve around you, but, it's your damn life, do what your heart wants, protect your heart, your mind. But, I hope in the future, you'll be fine again, you feel alive again, the pure happiness again, because YOU MATTER.
Up until now, thank you for your tiny steps. I am wishing your tiny steps will lead you to something big, your wildest dream and your little love. I do hope your will to live would keep growing, you start to hope again, making a silly little wish again.
Until then, please stay alive. xoxo"
