A Healing My Self Trip

Confused Heart, Confused Mind.

What a nice words for my current lock screen.

Because I felt so bad the past few days, or week.

The thing is, accepted in nation's favorite university means you should accepted all the consequences.

You should accept it if you have less time to rest. Home works, assignments, many of it.

Especially if you're a literature student.

Especially if you're learning another language.

Especially if that language used some funny yet creepy characters that if you don't learn it, you can't read it.

Especially if you're majoring Chinese.

I cried, a lot, all the time? It's just first 2 weeks and I already feels "i can't do this anymore."

But the pride, this university pride is also my pride.

My mother and father said, just go with it. The result is not a problem, passes or not.

They said I'm already grown up, big enough to choose wisely.

But the question is, am I mature enough? No.

I'm all mommy and daddy 's little girl.

You may laugh but I don't care, I still believing that one day Peter Pan will take me out all of the troubles and stay young in Never Land.

But I knows too, that it'll never happen.

So, is it the time to forget all the childhood things that I grew up with?

Is it the time for me to be the Peter Pan itself that grown up and starts to facing reality with its problem?

失败是成功之母

Just started my first week in third term.

It was hard...... all the things getting hard.

The past two days I cried because of Chinese Language 3, you don't need to ask how hard it is. Pretty much seniors left behind in this class, and that makes me scared. But I need to try, I can't give up, yet.

In this term I know I'll waste so much tears. But at least, I try.

"Masuk Sastra Cina itu gampang. Ngejalanin dan lulus dengan gelarnya yang susah.", That's what they often said.

"Yang masuk satu angkatan bisa 50-60 orang, tapi yang lulus bisa jadi cuma 20an."

Dear Allah, let me be the lucky one.