2018 So Far

Well hello........

It's mid March of 2018 already.

Yes I know, it's been a while.

I've been busy........ with..... figuring things out, personal things, family matters, and stuffs.
Yes I am quite a busy person, as a jobless one. LOL

So here I am, typing this stuffs with a glass of frappe while waiting for my cousin to come, since I came pretty early because I'm avoiding the heat outside so I came kinda early.

Now..... where to start?

Yep, I've been pretty busy for almost like... 2 months? I'm preparing some stuffs for one of my goal this year (oh and I started journaling this year, to keep in track with my life), I've been busy going back and forth here and there this month, collecting all the documents and.... yeah just wish me all the best luck.

AND ANOTHER BIG THING that happened to me is..... I suddenly diagnosed with a sickness, but it's not a big deal actually, just it's so sudden, and at first I was like...... w0w my life is a joke. BUT, it's not a big deal really......... my life is still going as usual, I still went here and there, eat this and that. The only difference is that I have to take the medication for 6 months...... it's not a big deal... right? 

The funny things is, at first my papa didn't really believe that I am sick, he is afraid that the doctors just misdiagnosed, and afraid if I will be sick for real after I take the medicines. Papa didn't quite believe the doctors, any doctors in the country. So he keep asking his sisters whom live aboard about my sickness and the medicines, I think his sisters talked stuffs to him so now everyday he always makes sure I didn't miss any medicines.

Well, actually, I kinda feels sorry to my parents, especially my Papa, since he paid almost everything for me, that I haven't get a job yet, haven't search for one again actually, because I'm still waiting for something. Yes I feels sorry many times, because I still selfishly stick on my current plan, chasing my dreams first, maybe not like other child in my age, not like my other friends for at least has a plans A, B, C or even Z. I am sorry somehow, for being different, for being a stone head, but.... should I be sorry for whom am I wanna be? should I be sorry for chasing my happiness first?

I know I have my own way of thinking.

I know I have my own perspective about how this world going.

I am different after all.

Maybe I'm weird.

Maybe I'm not.

Maybe I just want to live the life that I am comfortable with, a life that I won't regret.

Because things happened, because I have been hurt.

Maybe that's why I want to have a life that I won't regret.

Maybe that's why I'm gonna be a little selfish.

Because it's for me.

For my self.

For people whom are dear for me.

So hopefully, this year will be the year, if its not, I'll find another way tho, to make myself happy.

Wish me luck.

Wish y'all luck.

Wish we get enough happiness in life.

Love, Nach.